Blue skies smiling at me, gentle sunshine on my skin, pink blossoms floating in the breeze–yeah, spring is pretty. I love seeing all the different colors that the light shows. That may seem ironic to some of you, and maybe it is, but it’s still true. To anyone who thinks that fall is my favorite season because of Halloween, I’m not actually sure if I have a favorite season. Also, my favorite holiday is probably Christmas. I mean, I love Halloween. I do like the spookiness. It’s also the one night a year that you can be anything you want, where you can dress up and no one thinks you’re weird for it. Also, free candy; I refuse to believe that someone can get too old for free candy. It’s candy. People generally like candy. And you don’t have to pay money for it. People generally like things that they don’t have to pay for (especially if, as a broke college student, you don’t really have a lot of money to begin with). So, free candy means you can get a sugar fix without spending money you don’t have at the store. And people are willing to give you the candy.
Where’s the problem, again? I mean, sure, make sure it hasn’t been rewrapped or that there’s nothing sketchy about it, but seriously. People want to give you free candy on Halloween. That means M&Ms for movie nights with friends that you didn’t have to shell out money for.
Still, though, Christmas.
Anyway.
What’s new with me?
I just finished a term at RCC. I was taking four classes, for 15 credits, and I’m expecting pretty good grades from all of them. There’s only one that I’m concerned about, but I’m anticipating an A in two others, and at least a B in another. I’m hoping to get my GPA back up; I screwed up on a few classes the last two terms I was at RCC, after I came back following my SOU misadventure, but even still, my GPA going into this term was 3.4. It’s been a 4.0, and I’d like to get it back up to the 3.75 range at least. Anyway, yeah, my math class didn’t suck (and was my last math class ever!), and my two sociology classes were great. It’s my online rock music class that I’m a little worried about, but I think I’ll pass, at the very least. I don’t intend on going back to RCC, though, since there’s nothing this upcoming term that I want to take for my degree, and nothing I want to take in general (well, there’s one class I’d consider, but that’s not enough incentive for me). And I’ve gotten my financial aid mistake mostly corrected now, so this last term will be covered after all, which is a relief.
I’m looking for a job. Now that I’m not going to be attending RCC, I can work full time, although I’d consider getting two part-time jobs, depending on what jobs they are. Like, if I end up a waitress or a busser at Red Robin, say (it’s one of the places I’m checking out), I only want to do four or five hours a day there. My food service shifts at Cannon Beach were about 4-5 hours long, if I was on wait staff, and while I liked food service the best, by the end of my shift, I was ready to head back to River House, change clothes, and chill with friends for the evening. Working at an actual restaurant would be different, with probably some adjustment required on my end, which is fine, and I don’t know if those changes would make the job easier or harder than wait staff in CB–or maybe it’ll be the same amount of work, just in different ways. So, that said, I only want four or five hour shifts–which means I could always try to work somewhere else. I’ve heard Dutch Bros is hiring, as well as Albertson’s and Grocery Outlet; I’m also going to look into Hellgate, since they’re probably opening soon to take people down the river. However, my top two picks, partly due to work type and proximity to home, are Red Robin and Planet Fitness. Planet Fitness also has the benefit of having other locations up in the Portland area, and I’m sure Red Robin probably does, too, so if I don’t get a work study deal, I could always transfer to a different location and keep my job; I could transfer schools and not have to look for work, which would be nice. Plus, you know, with Planet Fitness, I could probably get back into shape. I’m happy to say that I haven’t put on a lot of weight since I stopped taking kickboxing (I was 116; I’m now about 121). So, just a few pounds, and I don’t think it shows much, but still, I’d like to get stronger.
I’m in the process of applying for George Fox, which is what I’m really excited about right now. I’ve filled out the applications, and once my final grades are in, RCC will send a copy of my transcript to them (I’m guessing that will be either today or tomorrow). In early April, I’ll be staying at the school overnight for a Bruin Preview, so I’ll get to know the school in person. I’ll be transferring as a junior, or close to, because George Fox actually complies with the AAOT program (which is not something the program mentions, according to my memory, in order to keep more money in the public university system) that I’ve been working on. Also, because it’s a private school, there’s less students, which means they can give each student more financial aid than a public university school, so between financial aid at George Fox (this is excluding loans) and my VA benefits, I could be completely covered. I will finally be working towards my actual degree, a Bachelor’s in Film Production! I may consider a minor in Sociology, if one is offered (I haven’t looked into it yet, but I enjoy sociology, and there’s a few classes there that look interesting to me). There’s a few clubs I’m interested in joining, as well as a few outreach programs, and I want to look into club sports as well. Not that I really care to be a team player or do any competitions, but I’m hoping there’s some self-defense clubs I could get into, since I really miss kickboxing and I’ve been told I’d enjoy jujitsu. Also, if I time my trips right, I’d be an hour’s bus ride from Portland (time it wrong, and it’s more like 2 hours). I’ve read that it’s cheaper to drive ($3 vs $5, but I’m not sure how they calculate that), but if I drove, I’d have to figure out parking, and would probably have to pay for it, so I’d sorta rather find a seat on the bus, put my headphones in, and try not to get fed up about having to stop at every. Single. Block. Even if there’s nobody actually waiting there. That was the annoying part about taking the bus into Seattle, by the way. Portland is a good place for the arts, so getting to study film while being so much closer to the city will be nice. There could be some good internship opportunities there, which means connections. Plus, a city means museums, exhibits, and fairs we don’t have here, as well as cultural events in general. It means more things to go do, and more diversity. I wonder what things I’d get to try, given the opportunity; getting out of my comfort zone can be really uncomfortable for me, but I also enjoy experiencing different cultures. Not that I’ve had a lot of experience with it, but if you think southern California isn’t a very different thing than southern Oregon, you’d be very wrong. Also, I’d be several hours closer to my friends in Cannon Beach, and I miss those guys daily. We could all take the buses into the city and meet there. Plus, did you know there’s this little-known bookstore in Portland called Powell’s Books? It’s a nice place to spend an hour or two in. And, spiritually, I think going to George Fox would be a very good thing for me. I need mandatory spiritual immersion–and by that, I basically mean I need to be required to go, or else I’ll find some reason to skip out. It’s not always the case, since I’m not technically required to go to my current Bible studies (technically. As in, my parents would be upset if I skipped out and, honestly, I would, too, because I know I need to go, and I do need some social interaction, although it’s not my first inclination to seek it out), but if I had to go to a class for a grade? If it was required that I attend a Bible study or church service to attend? Yeah, that’d be nice. Every step I’ve made towards attending George Fox has gone well, and I’ve been praying about it, so I hope that this is God’s will, and that the smooth process is a sign of that.
So, yeah, those are the big things going on in my life right now. It’s been a few months since I last gave an update; the last thing I posted was in honor of International Woman’s Day. Before that, it was “Sleepless in Seattle”, and a lot has changed since then. I mean, I’m single now, and have been for approximately a month and a half. Definitely a change.
No worries about that, guys, for anyone who still doesn’t know what happened. There’s no reason to be angry with Jonny. I broke up with him, but he left me first–that’s true. But there was no ill will on his part; he knew he wasn’t treating me right due to his depression and felt bad about it. I think his intent was to let me go so that I would no longer be mistreated and he could focus more on getting better; he just didn’t handle things well, and so he ended up ignoring me most of the time, including on Valentine’s Day. Dumb move, yes. But well-intended. I don’t hate him, and never have. I still believe he has all the potential to be a good man, and God is taking care of him; Jonny is going to be just fine, and I’ve heard he’s already getting better, which makes me so proud, happy, and relieved. He’s still someone I’m glad I knew, I wish him all the best, and I hope that one day, we can make amends, and even be friends.
Let’s face it. I ship Will and Marci. While my hopes about my own relationship with Jonny were, ultimately, misplaced, I still believe they’re meant for each other. And so, when they finally do get married (okay, so maybe “if” they get married is a safer option, yes, but dang it, they just seem so great for each other….), I don’t want any awkwardness as a result of Jonny and I. No fretting about who sits where, or anything like that. Plus, we share friends anyway, regardless of if/when Marci get married, and so, in general, I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable, like the two of us can’t be in the same room or something.
I guess the summary of that is: I don’t want what went down between Jonny and I to create lasting drama among our friends.
So, for those of you out there who are the praying type, like me, you might want to add Jonny to your prayer list. I know he’s on some of yours. But he needs it, and I’d appreciate it, for his sake. I’m working on no longer being in love with him, but I do still care about him. So, yeah, that’s part of my prayer request: that Jonny continues to get the help he needs so that he can get better.
As for myself? Guidance. Discipline. I mean, I’m trying to find a job, figure out school, continue writing–and I need to know how I’m supposed to do all those things, and then have the discipline to actually do them. So, yeah.
Just thought I’d give an update. =) I’ll let you know how things turn out.
**Author’s Note: My Bachelor’s would actually be in Cinema and Media Communication, with a concentration in Film and Video Production. There is also, indeed, a Sociology minor, which I’d have to look into; the major, at least, offers three different concentrations, which I don’t know would be offered as a minor: Community and Families, Global & Cultural Studies, and Social Justice & Inequality. I’ll have to see if they’re offered as a minor, and which one has the most of the classes I’m interested in (I typed up a list somewhere).
Trial By Refiner's Fire 